I Guess Grooming Makes All The Difference...
O.K. Here's another episode in the life of "The Todd"
So, this morning I went out to the neighborhood Muddy Waters for my morning Latte and Onion Bagel with Cream Cheese. I walk on in and the lady already knows what i want so I don't even need to order it. I just plop down my $6.27 and hang out for a few minutes.
So there I am chillin', when this lady walks by walking this incredibly HUGE Dalmatian. I mean HUGE! The damn thing is a horse. Now, for those who know me, I'm a big 'dog person' now. I haven't always been that way, My wife beat it into me. Now everytime i see a dog, I have to fight from yelling out "DAWG!"
Anyway, so the lady and the DAWG!! pass by the front window and i'm left with this goofy grin on my face. So I get my Latte and bagel and head over to the little station with the lids and stir-thingies.
"Hey" I hear behind me. I turn around an it's a woman.
"Hey" I say back. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way?" I say, thinking i'm hogging the stir-thingies.''
She says. "No. Nope... I'm just standing here."
So I finish up, I nod to the lady and start to leave. As soon as I hit the door, I feel someone shove something in my pocket. I turn around an the lady is passing me by with a big smile on her face.
"Call me." she (tries) to whisper all sexy-like. That's when I see the Dalmatian she starts to untie. Then I realize, when she passed by the first time with the dog and i was smiling, she thought I was smiling at her.
This chick just slipped me her phone number, complete with the "XXX, jill".
What the f***?
So I have to ask. #1, is it that hard for 30 Something's to find dates/mates in San Francisco? and #2, why the f*** weren't women throwing numbers in my pocket when I was single? Coincidentally, I''m starting to realize this usually happens when I give a damn enough to shave and groom myself and make myself look 'non hideous"?
The other day, me and wifey were driving around and this lady at the corner was staring at me like she was trying to put a hex on me. Wifey came close to exiting the vehicle and 'handling things'.
I have to find that right balance of ugly and presentable to make myself invisible again. I like being invisible...
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Comments
second... from my limited experience, YES it IS that hard to find a straight guy in SF.
third... a compliment is a compliment. go with it.
Not really complaining, just mad that all these women were nonexistent when i was single!
I think I may just have fallen in love with your wife. It's very nice to know I'm not the only one with the minor aggressive territorial feelings regarding The Hairier Half of the relationship.
As for the phone number, it's always good to let Wifey know, every once in a while, she evidently has landed some prime beef ;)
Its because you weren't trying and didn't have that "come on baby" vibe. A lot of women are tired of every guy hitting on them and when a hot man smiles without that vibe...its like catnip.
I totally understand your wife almost getting out and "handling things" but as I am also a woman whose husband gets hit on by both women AND men....I have just learned to go with the flow. I trust him totally and have realized that it shouldn't be a surprise that other people are attracted to him....he is a catch.....and he sleeps with me each night! rowrrr! :)
I don't think i'm at that point of 'goin' with the flow'. I think i got another year or so before i can blow off someone tryin' something with my wife. It's funny how love kinda reconditions you to not even sweat these hot women FINALLY trying to put the moves on you when you already have everything you've ever wanted at home.
Still... Where the f*** were all these women 5 years ago?!? Bastards...
Maybe guys should smile at women's dogs more often?? ;)